Friday, July 21, 2017

Do we foresee our Death? ..Why are most so afraid to talk about it?

Here is a question I recently waded into although rare for me to go this deep.  This gentleman caught me at the right time...

Although the electronics are going crazy. Here is the question I waded into below.
Here is a question for you. Knowing what I know about near-death -experiences, being around many people that had diseases, ailments, or feel because of their age and condition, they make a comment like this. "I want to go HOME!", when in fact they are already in their home. When a person gets to that point, do you think they have some insight, into the "beyond"? And if they really believed that they want to go "home", does that not indicate, somewhere in their soul, they realize, that they "came from home" to be here on the earth? And now that their suffering is to the point, the death is imminent, they they "know" this in their soul? I believe they do. And if you ever get a chance to speak with a near-death-expeiriencer on an intimate basis, you might talk to them about it. Not to degrade what they think, but to broaden your education and spirit.
This is an interesting and deeply moving question. There are many times throughout history that folks not only felt but prepared in someway for their passing. Abraham Lincoln as an example but there are tons of other examples of people not just predicting but in fact preparing. Whether they consciously knew it or not.
I do believe the "going home" is a way many nders describe the realm they visited. For me it's the way i title the place I still have difficulty fully explaining in the sense of peace and acceptance. Home seems fitting. More than. But there's more to it.
I agree with you when the body weakens the soul begins to transition. Sometimes years in advance and unbeknownst to the individual in many cases. Nders might be a bit different in this arena because I suspect they KNOW and there is no guessing or lack of certainty.
There's more Gary. But this is tougher for many. I believe there's significant evidence that at some point it becomes a choice. Final Death and the body is not far behind. It's a huge one that many won't wanna hear. But in my experience and deep in my soul I know what becomes the very foundation of unconditional love. That being the common factor that significantly ill people don't like putting others through the caregiving burden. I believe the letting go is to spare everyone including themselves the burden and sorrow. It pains us deeply. Maybe not unlike a dog that wanders off alone to transition. I believe at some point we all eventually need to let go. Those that leave from our world violently still need to do it and eventually do in a different realm and may even need help doing it. Although each of us get there at a certain point eventually. I still believe it is and always has been a choice our death but it pains me to think this might hurt others. It shouldn't. Our body following our belief eventually, depending on its condition at the time of choice and unmitigated factors that could arise before the time. I.e. Compassion that intercede instilling hope that changes the time line. Tough responsibility for many as some just don't do well with the dying.
That all so pesky powerful belief. The same that can heal us. The same that creates our reality. I believe it's greater than we've ever had the courage to admit. It carries into that realm too.
It's a great question that sparks my passion. I don't ever want people to think they've caused someone's death here. But clearly nders see death differently and is an important message. It is by and far for most the most beautiful realm we ever could have imagined. That's why almost all nders loose the fear of it. Allowing significant changes in their resonance and vibration. A taste of the source if you will perhaps. At some point our bodies for various reasons can no longer carry us to our appointed tasks here. Whether its disease or illness. But as an example nders know in that realm beyond our consciousness never dies. And we have more potential to help others from there. The truest aspect of unconditional love is sacrifice. But for me it's not really a sacrifice. But for many it still is.
I think a good number of nders , although I don't speak for all. Are continually hearing the calling to go " home". We cannot wait and it's a hard thing to admit or even discuss since many still fear it so and fear the"loss" of loved ones. We don't want others thinking we don't love them or want to hurt them or leave them. In fact it's the opposite ironically. It doesn't mean we run to it. In fact suicide amongst nders is extraordinarily rare. But we most certainly don't run from it. A significant reason why many are so passionate in trying to get others to release the fear of it.
I do know this for sure....
When my body can't carry me. I know my soul will and it will continue in that " home" with a power and grace many haven't considered. I know the potential of that realm. I know I can be there for my loved ones in a way that would floor most people. We get hints of it here. Spirits and guardian angels and such. But if we really could see our lost loved ones we'd see they aren't lost at all. But guiding us and very , very near. They lay in between the contrast of our very vibration. Always there. Always aware. They become one with all and can manifest physically with our energy and most importantly our belief. Rarely if ever without the latter.
In fact if this isn't to creepy. We're swimming in the very soul energy of everyone lost every second of the day. We can connect to it in moments of presence. It has memory and it's vastness is unexplainable. Undefinable even. The best example is channeling but the truth is it's happening all around us every second at different levels. The energy realm remembers. Everything. I write there. I didn't become smarter. I learned how to connect I a source that's been here forever.
This is a topic in my next book and very tough topic for many. I haven't read others thoughts on it. I haven't studied about it. Just my own thoughts and understanding. As always I like to say. I'm not an expert. Hope I never am. Just too hard to learn anything new defending what we think we know. So I remain open to everything and everything opens to me.
I suspect we've been contorted on our true understanding of free will Gary. And underestimated the power of belief by no uncertain terms. We are more powerful than we ever truly understood or may ever until we get there. Sounds familiar right?
But the majority of my belief is that heaven isnt a place unfamiliar. It's all around us. The extent of our next realm is the very fabric we build here. The human experience might have more to do with our next than we might be willing to accept. I believe it's why new experiences are so vital and so so powerful.
Nders vibrate differently. We all know that. People are altered by their presence alone. But I suspect in all cases it's happening everywhere even without being an nder. We biologically Mirror our surroundings. Our very cellular vibration changes to match our environment. Or at least our perception of it. An important aspect of why fear is so dangerous. Not to evade it but to overcome it. Once again the power of our belief is greater than we might ever be willing to grasp.
The term we are all lite comes to mind. Inevitably it is the foundation of it all. Metaphorically the lite is often to referred to with our attitude metaphorically. Our spiritual compassion and kindness. But there is no lite without dark. Certainly no value to one without the other. I believe strongly that the essence of life cannot be found in a comfort zone. Any comfort zone. Even a positive one all the time. Whether it be all lite or not. That all we ever need is found between the contrast. The line between the yin and the yang. I believe denying the dark times is a deeply rooted troubling part of our world. We will never escape negatives. To live in a positive always is no different a comfort zone than any. It requires a push pull to move the piston. However recovery is the key and the speed we get there a practice or discipline. Not unlike a pro ball player it takes daily practice. It is forgiveness. Through and through. Not justice. Forgiveness.
We spend a great deal of time hiding our "dark". Our "mistakes". Our "being wrong" in some cases. It's hurt is as a species. These are the most poignant moments of teaching we ever experience. Years of conditioning probably will be hard to heal. But imagine if we forgave quickly and in fact we're taught early to celebrate the fumbles and falls. Not to encourage more. But to not run from. We'd most certainly be in a different place. Perhaps not unlike the eventual realm we all go to.
Heaven has been contorted. Misunderstood. Hell invented to corral us into a submission of needing. It's not real this hell we've been led to believe. In all certainty. It's bullshit. Heaven, It's no where but it's everywhere. I think nders know the potential there. The fear goes and hell follows.
Many ask me what I think about where I went and why. I suspect heaven or the afterlife , in the heaviest of responsibilities and truth..... is exactly WHAT WE THINK WE DESERVE. It is exactly what we make it. But most certainly for me was exactly what I needed in all of its meanings still probably not fully grasped.
The vastness I saw tasted. Smelled and hummed. It was realer than real. Wetter than water. But it left me with one certainty. Vast potential. I won't ever forget it. Because of that I will say this. What I've written here may only be a small fraction of it. I'm ok with that. I absolutely embrace ambiguity. We all should. But we do need to take some responsibility for our great power inside us all forming our very reality every second of the day here and maybe there. Our belief.
Many reading this know that this is rare for me to open up like this to this depth. Probably because for each its different. There in lies more understanding of our BELIEF. Lol. But I do thank you Gary. It felt good to let that go in truth and lite. It just felt right. I could be wrong. I don't actually care if I am. I love being wrong. I hope I don't have all the answers about the other side. I do love a surprise. Lol. But thank you sir for tickling me me at just the right moment to release this. Rare for me to take a position. But as you know. I'm flexible. Hahaha. And magnificently ok with it.
I'm not entirely sure about heaven and all of its many houses. But I speak the truth about being ill. Watching others run and the inevitable release from this world. I suspect we go when WE are ready. With great love for those we depart from.
The grief it causes. Well that's another whole pesky topic that requires courage to discuss. Many will not want to hear about grief either. And most certainly won't want to know what our grief here means to us over there. If we did we would find a faster way to process it I'd guess. But that's another topic of the next book.
Thank you good sir. I hope it helps answer your question. But I'm guessing it actually already confirms most of your own intuition on the matter. You've seen death. From angles most never have. I know you understand it. But again thank you for the question and timing.
Now I let the comments begin. 😂😂😂
May they be full of love ❤️
May your day be full with it as well sir.

39 Weeks on the Amazon International Bestseller list
Hope you get a chance to check it out

I probably do more on social media than I do here on the blog...people are bust and rarely ever support the always we still believe in providing content that makes you laugh, makes you cry and makes you think...

California is calling

Host Ellie Schambler and Marin County International Association of Near Death Studies (Iands) proudly hosts International Bestselling Author Robert M. Tremblay. 
Roberts award winning book "Twenty-Seconds A True Account of Survival and Hope" has spent the past 39 weeks on the International Bestseller List on Amazon and is in planning for the silver screen. 
His story is one of the most documented cases of continued consciousness healing ever recorded. There are aspects of this story that are deeply powerful, leaving even the Mayo Clinic at odds with their understanding of the immune system and healing all together. 
Roberts book supports a charity that is close to all of our hearts in the Bay Area and we look forward to having him.
Robert is known as one of the most animated speakers in the genre and is sure to touch each and everyone of us. This you don't want to miss.
Roberts book has been nominated for Book of the year, Book of the month, Readers Favorite 5 Star and even submitted for Pulitzer consideration on top of the long run on the bestseller list.
Robert also recently co authored a new book with various Authors like Neale Donald Walsch, Dr Penny Sartori and Dr Bernie Siegel coming in November. This book called "The Transformative Power of Near-Death Experiences, how the messages of the NDE positively impact the world" is already touted as a book that will do more to release humanity from its fear of death than any book in recent history. Endorsed by DR Eben Alexander and Anita Moorjani among others. All proceeds of this book also go to charity to help impoverished children.
Roberts story and manner of speaking are sure will resonate on a number of levels.
We look forward to seeing you all there and sharing a moment of hope and love.

San Frasisco Bay area events August 2017

Additional events in the area on Aug 22 at South Bay Iands
event page coming soon
Hope to see you there

Second event August 22 7 pm
International Association of Near Death Studies South Bay California

South Bay Iands event August 22
Andrews Church Saratog Ca. 7 pm
Host John Sphar and South Bay International Association of Near Death Studies (Iands) proudly hosts International Bestselling Author Robert M. Tremblay. 
Roberts award winning book "Twenty-Seconds A True Account of Survival and Hope" has spent the past 39 weeks on the International Bestseller List on Amazon and is in planning for the silver screen. 
His story is one of the most documented cases of continued consciousness healing ever recorded. There are aspects of this story that are deeply powerful, leaving even the Mayo Clinic at odds with their understanding of the immune system and healing all together. 
Roberts book supports a charity that is close to all of our hearts in the Bay Area and we look forward to having him.
Robert is known as one of the most animated speakers in the genre and is sure to touch each and everyone of us. This you don't want to miss.
Roberts book has been nominated for Book of the year, Book of the month, Readers Favorite 5 Star and even submitted for Pulitzer consideration on top of the long run on the bestseller list.
Robert also recently co authored a new book with various Authors like Neale Donald Walsch, Dr Penny Sartori and Dr Bernie Siegel coming in November. This book called "The Transformative Power of Near-Death Experiences, how the messages of the NDE positively impact the world" is already touted as a book that will do more to release humanity from its fear of death than any book in recent history. Endorsed by DR Eben Alexander and Anita Moorjani among others. All proceeds of this book also go to charity to help impoverished children.
Roberts story and manner of speaking are sure will resonate on a number of levels.
We look forward to seeing you all there and sharing a moment of hope and love.
Please visit John and his magnificent group at

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Payson Arizona Flood and it's Impact of Grace of being there...

Carol and I were there Saturday as the storm approached less than a half of a mile from the swimming hole. Normally I feel things but this time Carol felt something odd. A feeling like someone was behind her. More than one in fact. She insisted we go. I listened. Which is rare. 
We left the Mountain at 3:30 pm both of us knowing. "We need to go." Less than a mile away 14 people would struggle for survival. 10 missing 4 found dead so far. 
On the way down I was suddenly so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open. I slept in the passenger seat dreaming.
In a blink of an eye it can change. Don't you dare waste a minute. Please pay attention to your gut instincts.
Our prayers to the family of all involved in this tragedy. Praying for the rescue workers still searching today for 6 more. We felt you. We love you.
We took back 9 crystals from our gem hunting there. And 14 stones of zero value but each spoke to us. There are no coincidences. Only energy. There's one still alive out there. I can feel it. Prayers

It bothered me for two days after 9 bodies were recovered...should I have done more?  Could I have...It sat deep in my heart until I couldnt stand it anymore as they searched for the last of ten victims taken off the mountain I stood on that day.
Si posted the following on Facebook and I showed up...I hoped for a purpose...but found many reasons

Here are the posts for your consideration....May it remind us all the fragile state of life...That in Twenty Seconds or less it can all change

July 17th
Ugh. Still only 9 found. One missing and a deep hole in my soul for being nearby. 9 crystals taken from this world in a blink of an eye. Tomorrow I will take my skinny ass up to that mountain. With the 9 crystals I took and return them to the mountain. Then I'll help with the search. There's always something that can be done. Prayers for this family. Prayers for all of us that we might be reminded in a blink it can all change. Don't waste a moment of it. Please.

JUly 18th
Psychics, mediums, intuits and lightworkers that are my friends. I call on you Today for praye
rs and guidance as I travel to Payson Az to help with the search for the last of 10 that were missing in the floods we witnessed Saturday. Please. Close your eyes and listen to your guides. Any direction or prayer would be greatly appreciated. These are times of unity. These are the gifts youve been given. Please help us find this man and help bring peace to this family that has lost 9 beautiful souls. Youngest being 2 yrs old.
I'm grateful for any comments or prayer chains.
I will return the 9 crystals we found and the 14 rocks we took of the same mountain. Prayers please for closure for all.
July 18th cont

My Closure
Search today in Payson Az for the last victim was called off once again due to rain around noon. When I arrived at 7 am I explained my calling to be there. I was told they had everyone they needed but I explained that I was a Near Death Experiencer and had to be here. Extraordinarily rare for me. I told them It wasn't an option and I wasn't leaving. I've been trained as a medic and a former cop but that there was something important I needed to do and I believed it had nothing to do with years of search and rescue training. I was the only volunteer there and for some reason each time I explained they let me further up the road to the main search area closed to the public. Call it their intuition or just their hearts. I don't know. But I finally found myself at one of the staging areas that was fairly void of anyone being so early.
But as I stood on the banks of the creek filled with debris it became clear why I was there. The family of Hector came through the woods looking exhausted and soaking wet. They had been there searching by themselves well before dawn. I introduced myself and explained again my calling to be there. And Hectors wife collapsed in my arms weeping.
I spent the morning with them. Helping them with transportation and quiet reflection. As the police and search crews again and again asked for no interference for further safety reasons. Although they and I understood it wasn't easy for them to just sit and wait why others arrived and began there treks into the mountains. Firefighters and search and rescue as far away as Utah showed up for the third day. Even the Sheriff himself dawned his wet suit and spent hours diving various pools in the murky river full of ash from recent fires. The water nearly the color of blood gurgled past us on the banks and not much was said. Not much needed to be. But eventually I was asked about my experience and I shared the glory of the peace I felt in a place to close to this family this day. There seemed to be a peace brewing as the father, wife and several family members listened. I felt great about the fact that we all cried and held hands. I listened to stories by them about the event that took so much from this family. How Hector was able to literally throw one child that survived straight up into a tree and grab another before being overtaken by the wall of debris and torrent of water.
My intuition was going crazy. Sunflowers and cell phones. Beaver Creek area exploded in my mind as I passed it earlier and I couldn't let it go. I could see and feel Hector and his final moments replaying over and over. I prayed and cried the hour trip up the mountain.
At one point I took one of the family to get there car they had parked before sunrise. Right in the Beaver Creek area. I dropped him off and headed back to the staging area. Then I saw it. On the hill before the first bridge a twenty foot sunflower all alone poking through the canopy. Not near a house or any human imprint. Just one lone huge sunflower overlooking Beaver Creek valley. I never thought of the warning by sheriffs and searchers to not go in the woods. My car just pulled over seemingly by itself. I got out and just walked in the woods. My stomach began to ache and I kept getting dizzy. I spoke out loud all by myself to Hector. Two miles from the search area and I couldn't stop myself. I cried the whole way down the river 1/4 mile through the debris. Eventually I rounded a corner and felt everything hit me at once. Overhead a search drone buzzed and a bit down the river a lone search dog was standing in the middle of the river. The dog and I connected immediately and I had to sit. The dog bounded toward me and literally laid in my lap soaking wet. It rolled onto its back like a baby and the handler wasn't far behind. Looking stunned at the dogs behavior and this lone skinny feeble looking man not properly dressed for a search , crying his eyes out. She just stood there amazed. I told her he was here. Right here in this stretch of the river. When suddenly I heard another searcher yell. "I found a cell phone". The dogs owner explained the dog had alerted here several times and I told her who I was and how I got here. She didn't warn me or scold me. She wanted to know more. And of course I spilled everything. The dog remained like a baby in my lap and I apologized. She told me not to and that the dog needed some tenderness.
If it wasn't strange enough I told her and the dog that I knew the Dog would find Hector. Maybe not today but we both looked at each other like we both knew. The worker asked me to give the dog direction and I just held its soaking body and stroked it until it nearly fell asleep. Then I knew I was done. I told the Dog as I got up and lifted her with me. Not to go find him. But that she already had and would finish. There wasn't much more discussion other than other workers showing up after the alert and cell phone find. The only thing they asked as I walked back in the direction I came was. "What's your name"...Lol. I replied back it really doesn't matter and I disappeared into the thick foliage. As I made my way back to the road I could hear my friend the dog barking her head off and I smiled more.
I returned to the staging area and the family had gone. The worker who ran the staging area met me. Telling me I'd become s but famous over the radio. Not for anything remarkable but because I had ignored there request to not go in the woods. I explained what happened and that it wouldn't be an issue any longer. That I had done what I came to do. He didn't scold me. But he asked me an odd question as he pulled me aside in private. He knew my history and why I was there. He didn't want my Id to fine me. Or my address to ticket me. He wanted to know what my intuition was telling me. And I told him the sequence of events with the dog etc. By then the radio was squeaking with other finds including the cell phone and clothes now.
I assured him for future there would be no need for me to go into the woods. The rest was up to them. He was under water submerged in mud and I could taste the ash and mud. Even grains of dirt in my teeth. I apologized over and over telling him I never talk about the intuition stuff much. I run from the psychic stuff. But I needed to be here. And he knew and felt me.
I told him rain was coming soon and the new water would uncover what they needed. Not to be discouraged and I thanked them all for there dedication and hearts. I could hear them all whispering as I walked through the crowd of exhausted searchers now called out of the woods because of the rain I mentioned. And a single drop of rain hit me in the head and I smiled to myself.
I got in my car exhausted and drove away back down the mountain. Past the lone sunflower on the mountainside that didn't belong there and I laughed thinking how alike I was with that sunflower. I don't know what comes of my day at the river. But I know this. I showed up. Sometimes that's enough.
The search area has been moved and I have great hope that there focus will bring the closure everyone needed.
I had met and held and cried with the family and to me that was enough. I shared my experience with death and hoped the peace I never could quite explain before. Got explained perfect that day. With authority but grace. I stopped at the bridge and prayed one more time as I let go of the nine crystals we had taken from the mountain that day. I threw each crystal and then all 14 rocks we also discovered into the murky water and knew more than the stones had found home.
I drove the hour back to Mesa trying not to fall asleep with a deep sense of understanding about me and the day. The running I've done with psychic this and intuitive that. I remembered my long journey on the road for a month and how my intuition had saved me. But I also thought about the last six years and the pesky intuition had saved me countless times and I giggled out loud.
Seemed like minutes to make the hour drive home and I found my closure as I pulled into my driveway. I was home. Hector was home.
The beauty of the day filled me greatly and I sat down quickly to write it all out before I head to our bedroom to sleep.
As I think about the murky current of that river that took so much, I realize once again how precious life is. That in Twenty-Seconds life can change. But I am reminded- the water will recede. The murkiness will clear. I thought of the over one hundred searchers up on the mountain. And felt great relief such angels exist. I thought of the family and there unity. The workers and police and their unity. And I smile as I lay my head down to finally rest.
Our numbers make us great. It's in our numbers we find solace and peace and true, true power to do anything. And it's in numbers that I strive to connect. Passionately and relentlessly.
I've done well by myself these past six years. I've found peace with my illness. Im finding peace with me. And today once again I find strength,hope and a deeper understanding in uniting people.
Thank you all for your prayers for this family and for me. I have great hope the ripples in the murky water will clear. And Hector is home. So am I. I'm happy and thrilled to say today and everyday. Thank you for one more.
Hope your day is filled with presence and love. Peace out

What drew me to that part of the river?  I followed the butterflys


Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Some thoughts from the road

"Some days you have to kneel in reverence into the cool waters of your childhood and you are washed clean. " Rmt 
I left a copy of the book in every park I went. All 12 states. I'm grateful for the opportunity and thanks for one more day 

I apologize for being out of touch here as I have just made one of the most important journeys of my life...I hope to fill you all in soon in the next book  "Dying for Forgiveness".
For now, here are a few thoughts from the road...please join us on facebook for pictures and videos...some things I have seen in this journey might just inspire you...That is the whole idea...

35 weeks on the International Bestseller list. This isn't about success. This is about saving one more. Today. Now. 💫❤️
So more often than not I hope running a charity someone engages. We made it easy. Twenty-Seconds and a buck. But we've struggled honestly. Share a post. Invite some friends. Simple, easy stuff.
Then people shock you. They go way beyond easy. You wanna know the truth? Easy teaches you nothing but conditioning more easy. 🤷🏻‍♂️
The driving energy and root of all unconditional love is sacrifice. 💥💥💥💥💥💥
It can't be rationalized away in a over board self empowerment moment. It's the secret many have swapped aside.
Take what you want in this life. But eat what you take. The irony is posts that mention charity are mostly ignored and posts displaying huge levels of emotion are often too much for some. Yesterday 184 people left our journey on Facebook. I watch everyday. I track it. All for a reason. But like each new day it's washed clean and this morning 188 people joined because they let themselves feel the emotion. Life's funny and we've sparred most of you the real truths about advocating for a 35 yr old disease wrapped so tightly in stigma that it's fueled the spread.
I tried to protect you all with positives. But I've stolen from you the truest aspect of evolving. The contrast of emotion. It isn't avoiding certain energies in life. Your swimming in it. It's learning how to understand, and release that which doesn't serve you. Allowing it to teach.
Like a professional baseball player it takes practice and a discipline to practice. Ground ball after ground ball after ground ball. It isn't avoiding negatives, it's letting them teach you, inspire you and fuel you. Let it guide us in finding release but never avoidance. Feeling drives the whole damn thing. Challenging us the whole way. But challenges evolve us. Don't let people tell you that your challenges are failures. They are your teachers. There will come a time in everyone's life that your commitment to "not giving up " is called upon. This is when the "easy" choices burn hot. This is the moment in time you find how well you did everyday with those ground balls. That my dear friends requires one thing the world seems to be challenging. Our responsibility.
We're not hiding our emotions any longer. This disease is rampant with that. And it's fueling the spread.
It isn't avoiding negatives. It's our perfection of them. It's not avoiding our fears. It's facing them down. The best skill I've ever learned bar none in life is how to find gratitude. How to turn a perceived negative into a positive. To spin it In everything. But that doesn't mean avoiding the emotions I need to release. It means taking ownership to me. The moment we stop hiding our emotions. Is the moment the entire world changes.
So today if you get this far in the post. If you put in the time I'll tell you one truth about why I never quit on this journey. Because today. This July 4th we celebrate tentatively our country in all fairness. But today. 400 children will be diagnosed with HIV. Thats why I never quit. 400 children. 💥 We can do better. But one segment of society isn't gonna pull it up the hill. It's been 35 years. 36 million dead. If labels are habit. Put one on that. If your struggling to find one. Let me help you. It's genocide. 😳We can. We must do better.
We need your voice. 🌪
The only disease we dare to ask ...."How did you catch that !!!" When that's not important. The end gets closer. Stigma? Many got it if you must know because they loved to much. They lived to greatly. Stigma? I don't think so folks.
For those who care enough to remind me of pace. Thank you. But the thing is. Time is fleeting. It's real for me. It can change in a blink of an eye. The question as always is... what will you do with your time???. Please. Please please. Don't rationalize away this disease because of me. I'm just trying with what I have left to make a difference.
Hope your day is filled with emotion. I hope it's filled with peace. Thank you so much to the REAL that join us everyday. Thank you for showing up.
Thanks for another day of that.
Hope to see Vermont show up
Please visit our event page. Takes twenty seconds to raise up another. Maybe less.

I made it😅. Can't believe it but I made it. 
"With a little help from my friends " 😘
Too much to explain. To powerful of a day. 
4,585 miles. 13 states. 11 public events. I made it. One to go. Talks in the park Series-Vermont
Gonna be off the grid for 24 hrs. Love you all. Thank you so much for the love, support and encouragement. To the many angels along the way. IM FOREVER GRATEFUL 💝
The new book writes itself. Wow. That's a heck of a day. May you be lifted by the angels all around you today and this holiday.
Peter Bates Peggy Boucher I have no words 🙏🏻 That's freakin rare. Thank you for one more day of THAT.
PLEASE, don't forget to invite your friends.
See you in the park for the last one.

So much happened yesterday. It may take a few posts and some time to unpack it all. But here's some thoughts and reflections after 13 states and 4,500 miles in a car.
Yesterday I spent the afternoon watching a 10 yr old girl named Muskan Virk captivate an audience talking about the importance of gratitude , including me. 10 yrs old going on 45 yrs old. As I watched the audience reaction I realized what was happening. The entire room had changed. Wasn't watching as much as feeling. She is such a delight. But I filled up with tears wondering if most in the room realized that she literally changed there cellular make up. I watched young children in the audience engage and ask questions inspired by her grace. How freakin rare is that. This is a moment in time we need to pay attention to. I've tried to help her with my platform and advice. But today she helped me. I realized this girl will not and can not be stopped. If we as a society can't support a 10 yr old with this intent and heart. We may just be in more trouble than I like to think. "A child shall lead them." I'm sure I've read that somewhere. We better realize the rareness and hope imbedded with child souls like this and do EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING TO SUPPORT IT. Her mission? To give back and support homeless. So I wonder this holiday. What are you doing this weekend ?
 The impact of it all staggers me. Keep your eye on this young lady and her Mother Meera Virk. Of all the things I try to share with you. This one might be the most important I've been honored to be involved with personally or professionally.
I also had my first occasion to hug my friend John Masiulionis. Who's continued love for the world inspires me to keep going. Got my first hug from him and we cried and cried at the journey we've been on together. He claims I save his life. Meeting after his cancer diagnosis. But as he took me on a little drive yesterday to the hallowed grave of his Grandmother Jane. I watched this man quietly as he spoke his heart to the spirit of his departed love ones. It hit me hard. The privilege of my presence. Oh John. We saved each other my brother. And I will never forget any of it.
Two days ago when I got here I couldn't wait to see my friend Karen Fodor. Who I met when I first started my journey two years ago on Facebook. Many might be realizing these days that the connectivity of Facebook and I do love it. But there's some concerns building. Relationships from a far and electronically miss a few things. Deep connection often is lost in an electronic world where it's easy to ignore. Although magnificent to connect it makes us think. Is it deep enough?. Is there an accountability to it? Or is just scrolling through to easy and shallow. I worry about the future generation whose toughest choice is an Unfriend button. A major reason I started this road trip. To put some skin into it. Karen is not the type for a "ricochet relationship". Her soul is deep and so is her commitment to love and true friendship. I'm eternally grateful for her hospitality and love. Once again both of us are forever changed.
Her friend Gerry Cassidy, a gifted healer and medium whom I'd never conversed with waited here too for me. He gave me a free healing, not surprisingly after 4400 miles in a car, it was just what I needed. There's a picture in here of a candle burning during the session. Feel free to tell me what you see. But I'll tell you what I felt. Pure golden unconditional love. The very essence of healing. I don't care what schools you go to. What certificates in healing you obtain. The truth is. I'm not sure a skill is actually needed. But I guarantee you this. It is the intent and love that moves the needle. Although I applaud those who put in the time to learn. I'm still trying to find the right words to write about the session. It was....well...intense. It will take some time to put it all on paper. Coming soon.
After the busy day of emotion and continued connections from the trip still showing up here and there. I went to what I thought was my last event. 18 lbs lighter in weight but a ton heavier in love I found my way to Glen Park for my talk. Realizing my sister Jean who recently passed had lived in glen falls ny. I felt her. 💝Turned right onto Hyde Park RD realizing a warmth that my Father had been born in Hyde Park Ny. My family was with me. Regardless of the family that has chosen not to support our work and intent to help others. I make no assumptions about their actions to not even follow our journey let alone support us in trying to raise awareness. But honestly I realized yesterday in the evening sun as I watched people arriving for the talk. This has been the fuel that lit my candle. Showing me how much work I still need to do. But I watched perfect strangers arriving one by one. Some didn't even know why. But they came.
I sat for this talk. Which is rare. I'm a mover. But maybe it's my exhaustion maybe it was shaking legs. Maybe it was just reverence. It Took a cpl emergency rooms to get me here. A few bags of IVs and as always gifted and loving nurses along the way. The things you didn't know. But it was more than that. Each and every person that took the time. That put the skin into it. That showed up. Helped lift me up. And I watched them as they all connected with each other. Incidentally I'm guessing they might have thought. But it wasn't accidental. It's been my goal. I love the strength of lifting up another human being. More often than not it's just showing up. But watching them connect and find each other. Well that's magic. 💥. That's forever. These are relationships born at a talking event full of emotion. With that comes huge energy. We don't forget the things in our life with great emotion.
After my talk I spent some time with some loving folks. Some new. Some old. Some young but all individually free and beautiful. I rolled down a hill with Muskan like a child and I gave my ear to anyone who needed it.
But in the end after a long journey. I collapsed. Away from the view of others. Behind a large tree my legs failed me yet again and I laughed at the humility of the moment. I did it. I made it all the way. There were moments I didn't know if I could. But each person gave me hope. Filled my with purpose and touched me deeply with love.
Truth is...,
I was pretty sick when I got in the car to make this trip. There's a bunch I didn't mention in fear of worrying folks. I do take responsibility to put out positives. But honestly Carol and I quietly wondered if I'd make it. I went 38 days without medicine for my Hiv after loosing my Medicare policy a cpl months before the trip. It was my fault. I changed banks acts after being hacked. Forgetting my auto pay of six years for my medicine supplement. The medicine that keeps me alive. Was gone. The new health care stuff is scary. But like many things easy to ignore in our busy lives. But I will tell you the humility involved when you lose something like this and have to beg for your life. I took 38 days of communicating, wiggling and begging to find an exception to my loss of coverage. 38 days I filled up with virus getting weaker and weaker. But I just wouldn't give up. According to new rules I would have to wait till November to get a new policy. Those that know my story understand. Quite simply, I'd be dead by then. But there I was. No fault but my own. Begging for an exception. For "My mistake!!!"
There's still something important I need to do. Humbling thing to watch a fellow man beg. Any human being. For nothing more than a chance to live. It wasn't just me and my situation. I've got a no quit attitude and I'm a blessed communicator. But ask yourself this. How many are that lucky? How many wouldn't have scratched and clawed for 38 days? . How many elderly or unsupported are out there. How many would have hidden and just not bothered.
Well folks. No one likes the fear and blatant disregard for human life we've watched happen in our political system. I hate even talking politics. But let's be clear here. This shit is real. These are real people. This is real fear and the damage is already done. People will die. Mostly of shame.
So tonight. When your knees hit the floor. I hope you say a prayer that quite honestly. This never happens to someone you love. Maybe it's what it will take for some of us to engage. But whether these bills pass or not isn't the issue. I stood on a wall for my country. Prepared to violence on your behalf. This month I nearly died because of the distain of our political system. Whether the bill passes isn't the point. Neither is your politics. I don't give two shits about sides. You better not either. Who actually gives a shit about being right why we watch this. I care about people. Rationalize all you want with your taking sides. But we have witnessed a new discourse of human history that our Government even proposed this type of hate. They submitted a bill that literally is just short of euthanasia. Whether it passes or not. Take a deep breath and stop being distracted on whose right or whose wrong. We just watched our LEADERS offer some of us up to die. Period. So if your sitting there being truly being honest with yourself. I ask you this. Have you done enough? Have you done anything? I've never engaged in politics until I watched this last few months of horseshit. Nearly blows my mind the fear and hate imbedded in these bills. But what worries me most is the indifference of some. It's why I got in my car. Frail and weak. To put some feeling skin into it. To show up. To care. To challenge myself and tell the truth that no matter what happens. It's the love that drives us and fuels us.
This 4 th of July feels different for many. It's ok. Don't rationalize it away. Let it move you. We've changed as a country. But the truth is many of us have let it. Me included and I'm not gonna take it any more.
No longer will I be silent. I will not watch people die when it's to easy to just show up.
So at the first explosion of fireworks I hope it blows up the most important part of your environment. Your soul. To act. To do something. If you can't. Find someone. Show them compassion beyond your comfort zone. Tell the family you've avoided you're sorry. Or just show up. For the love of all things holy. Forgive.
This morning without being asked I got a text from Peter Bates and Peggy Boucher. Two endearing friends I love. They got into their car together and drove to western New York in the middle of the night without being asked for one purpose. To bring me home!!!! They were reading my posts. They allowed themselves to feel. And they literally showed up. To come get a friend weakened by a disease and his efforts to make a difference with it. They just showed up. 💝❤️💘
I don't know if many of my friends really get it. Some think this was about fame for me. Maybe money. Ego for sure. But those who get it. Get it. It's a reflection folks. What you see in me is from you. So before you decide. Smell yourself and be real. I'd rather be real than fake.
I've risked it all to just make a difference. To connect you. To make you feel. Some might even say I've been reckless. Oh how we love to label. But understand this about my journey. Whether you realize that my disease will eventually take me or not. How we like to avoid that. It's important that you remember. It will never he about how I died. But it will be about how I lived.
Reach out today. Help yourself heal. Do something for someone but do it without wanting, expecting or needing something in return. Or just show up. Sometimes it's all you need.
I look forward to sharing more of this journey. There's so much more coming in the new book.
But as I sit here in western ny awaiting my friends who've driven all night to drive me home. I pray.
I pray that the lord this day lifts you up in his divine countenance. And gives you peace. Thank you for your continued support , sharing and caring so we might just reach more. Do more. With what time we have. Thank you for your hearts.
I love you all so. And dear God. Thank you for the mercy you extend freely to me and I'm absolutely enthralled to say this morning. Like every morning. Thank you for one more day.

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Karen Fodor Love you Robert!
Thank you for the talk also...
Gerry is trying to teach me about compliments..i think of life as loving and helping others..from being given UNCONDITIONAL love when i died briefly...we give back...and i enjoy doing it!

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July 3 at 7:33am
Jody Rentner Doty Tears. You touch my soul and so many others. As to the politics and medical, my mother is in chronic pain for a rare condition that affects every joint and all her tissue. There is not one place in her body that is not riddled in agony. It breaks my he...See More

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July 3 at 8:27amEdited
John Masiulionis I will never forget what we shared together my brother. Now, it's time to share that love with the world. 

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July 3 at 8:29am
Kelly Michelle Walsh Wow wow tripple and I don't swear often but fuckin wow! This just blew my socks off! It made me smile it made my cry it touched me to the depths of my heart And soul! You are one super human special man and I blessed to call you my friend! Love you zillions trillions planet positavia and beyond! Keep shining and lighting up the world with your
Love light and positivity power bright!!! Xxxxx

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July 3 at 9:19am
Lisa Lou Lou So beautiful. Also a reminder to all of us that we can rise above and show everyone what caring and compassionate is about..Bless that child's heart.

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July 3 at 9:45am
Melinda Weaver Presley Wow Robert. Wow. I want you to know that even though I make silly jokes and you dont know me well personally, you have made a huge impact on my life. I admire you for your journey and all youve accomplished, but more importantly your insight, messages...See More

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July 3 at 10:20amEdited
Karen Fodor You my friend are opening doors and making people think on subjects that were NOT talked about before! So your scaring some people because you ARE you get allot of attention and they will not be admitting to it...THAT'S TOTALLY OK! That'...See More

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July 3 at 4:03pmEdited
Sarah Trafton Wortheim I hope you realize how many of us, you have touched, opened our eyes, given courage and hope. Thank you! So wish, I could be there on Wednesday to see and hear you! Love and light being sent for strength!

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July 3 at 4:51pmEdited
Christina Gavier Amazing testimony Robert and an honour to know you. Social media can be a glorious blessing, especially for elders, lonely folk who can reach out and touch hearts. I have been recovering from compassion fatigue, but am rested and awake again and realis...See More

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July 3 at 9:22pm
Meera Virk You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
- Khalil Gibran
...See More

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July 3 at 9:54pmEdited
Kelley Youngman Your journey has impacted me in so many ways, where do I start. I think I'll sit with it and let it guide me. God bless you my friend, you have no idea what this path has opened for me. I'm with you every step of the way. I feel you and I hope it's the same for you. ❤️🙏

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Yesterday at 4:37am
Kellie Fitzgerald You have and continue to touch so many lives just by being yourself. I remain humbled by your very presence and hope to get another hug soon. Much love.

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1 hr

What a day to follow the PATHE ✊🏻💘