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Saturday, May 31, 2014

I prayed....

Most of you are aware of my 4 year battle on many many fronts.  Perhaps never the entire layout of the battlefield but you all knew of my struggles.  You all may know I never post anything negative but have seen my share of it in life.  Many don't understand that - People wonder how I never have a bad day or get mad.  But these things I write are things I have realized as the changed man before you today.  I have a tremendous feeling I have something important to say to the world and will attempt to put it on paper for my own peace.  I hope it helps one person, but there is a selfish side that needs to scream out at the top of my lungs the amazing things that have happened to me. I also wrote it for one person in my life to allow that inspiration to wash over me in a moment so she will understand her impact on me. I hope it finds its way into your heart somehow in your own way and makes any level of impact.

I have always remembered the unknown confederate soldier writing where he asks for things and receives others. It is in this spirit which I write an additional chapter of it. It inspires me!!! I wrote this last night in a inspired twenty minute overload.  I enjoy writing but never had such a inspiration. I think its important somehow...maybe for just me but I can hope...

I prayed for heaven and the ability to reach the stars, instead I touched the face of god and was returned a different man so I might say something to the world.

I have prayed everyday since my illness, but never for a cure, only for mercy...I was given instead a hard road but endless moments of hope so I would have a deeper understanding of life.

I prayed for a healthy  body in a dark time of life and was given a "soul-shine" to illuminate my way so I might see.

I prayed for wisdom to understand, instead was given a "beautiful mind" so I might appreciate the world without defining it.

I prayed for courage of self, instead was gifted the ability to strengthen those around me to remind me humility.

I prayed for a clear understanding of my life and past and got a deep clarity of thought to see into others so I may understand the meaning of service to mankind.

I prayed at times simply for one more day, instead I was given years so I may remember it's about each day and truly appreciate it with others...and understand..!!!

I prayed for help from people in my my life, and I was honored instead with solitude so I would have a deeper meaning of myself and the daily epiphany of self awareness.

I prayed for a quiet lone death to spare others around me their pain, instead I was given my father's final wish of family unity and the tender support within, so I might understand the true nature of unconditional love.

I prayed at times for a quick thoughtless death, instead was given an endless gift to impact people's lives so I might understand my purpose in the world.

I prayed for a voice to speak out, instead I was blessed with the ability to hear angels weep at the beauty and possibilities of my future for love.

I prayed for the strength to stand alone, instead was made weak in the presence of real love to ensure my heart was always open so I would truly see and make an impact with another.

I prayed for the eyes of god, instead was given a rare love so I might see god everyday in their eyes....so I might daily understand what real love is...thank you for that.

I prayed for all beautiful things for myself and instead was given wonderful gifts for others so I might know selflessness.

I prayed for all singular things and was given multiple things, none of which I requested, so I might always understand the gift of giving more than I receive...always.

I was given life and all things man searches for in life and death and a new profound impactual spirit that everyday gets better...an open heart rewarded !!! And a great sense of peace and purpose.

I was given No fear of pain, as I was shown it is in the fire of pain that shapes beautiful things and forges our character everyday.

I was given the rare ability to see beauty in all things, so I might never miss one thing.

I never prayed much before my illness but I did believe...today I thank god every single day, out-loud, at the first beauty I see everyday.

You see, I was most importantly  given hope and the realization that hope gives me all things.  I was given an iron clad faith in all things and the belief that all people are, and want to be, true at heart.  I was given love, and all these other things so I might understand the power of dreams, and oh how I dream.

I hope any one of the many of my discoveries may touch your soul and give you a fraction of my hope and belief and internal peace. And I hope you always believe and, most importantly, dream of a day when fear never closes your hearts and minds.  I pray god will lift his divine countenance upon you and give you peace...

Robert Michael Tremblay
3.01.2014

Robert Tremblay on Facebook
Imtremor@yahoo.com


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