Saturday, April 16, 2016

Pigeon Holing Myself

A couple months ago, I got an e-mail from a group leader from my one of my favorite NDE groups. The e-mail was long and detailed and, quite frankly, took me by surprise.  The e-mail listed at least 20 perceived problems with my book Twenty-Seconds which I recently published.  The list was long and confusing, and in fact begged me to remove the book from publication. My first real experience with bathing in the negative views that some may have in regards to the book.  The only negative reviews I have seen were from a crazy stalker I offended in Vermont. She manages to visit Amazon weekly under other accounts to express her views. LOL.  Although prior to offending her by not giving her more of my time, she loved and hailed the story.  People are funny.  But that's another story.

Anyway, I took this gentleman's words into consideration.  Frankly, I respect his opinions as a person but also as a representative and leader for his NDE group that is recognized globally.  I responded with a thank you, but did mention the hurt it caused me because my book wasn't designed and written to be an NDE book.  It's just MY book - MY story.  But the box he has been conditioned to over the years reading other NDE books must have gotten a bit restrictive.  He continued to e-mail me over the next several days, 12 e-mails total, all very biting and insistent that I rewrite my book.  Finally, after repeated requests to stop flowing negativity about my book over and over again, I reached out to the group responsible and kindly asked the same.

So to this leader who literally harassed me to the tune of 12 separate and bitingly nasty e mails, many begging me to remove my book from publication and his glorious ideas of how to "fix" it, not to mention the group's admin who completely ignored the event, I say this - Thank you sir for reminding me of the pigeon hole.  I put myself there myself to engage a community that helped me and others evolve.  The love is clear in the group.  Right up to the point where you disagree with them.  This was my first real experience since my awakening five years ago with a "spiritual" person being blatantly judgmental and vocal to the point of hurting someone.  I guess I was naive to think spiritual people would never do such a thing.   But if he did it to me, he will do it again.  It's a karma thing.  LOL  They will learn.

But in all honesty, I don't know why I let it hurt me.  He actually did me a favor.  My book isn't like other NDE books, as I explained to him over and over.  I didn't want it to be.  Nothing wrong with an NDE book, but there are millions of them preaching to a choir that already knows the same shit. Those people don't want to read the same crap over and over again regardless of what they tell you to your face.

Many people in the spiritual community wonder why so many skeptics and non-believers won't give us a chance to show them what we've seen.  Although we all say, "Oh it's ok, you'll have that".  Well I call BS regardless of the control you think you have.  You wouldn't have written a book if you didn't want to be heard.  So I wonder how many more cookie-cutter NDE books are coming in the future? Thousands more. And if guys like this group leader have anything to say about it, they will all be just the same.  LOL.

I think our younger generation is smarter that that folks. We resist the box others build for us, even other spiritual leaders. I for one salute that. When we stop questioning, we stop growing. But we've seen that many times haven't we....

So I say thank you to this group leader and the group for their complacency. I thank him for reminding me that my book is not in the main stream of the community, that it doesn't fit in.

There are thousand upon thousands of up and comers looking for a platform for their voice.  I see it every day. In fact it's a major percentage of the NDE population.  The day when everyone finds a voice and maybe start their own conference is the day we effect massive change.

I hope this is the first of many opening our hearts to everyone in the NDE and spiritual community. Like we know it should be done - everyone gathering together as one.  Oh the oneness - remember that from your experience?  We all do, but evidently that gets assimilated out as we adjust to "fitting" back into our lives. God please, I hope not.  That spiritual death is not on my radar.  It is beyond time for the younger generation to grab ahold of the very essence of their being - their passion. Let it guide you to a life of outreach and connectivity to anyone trying to share the story, to find their voice without apology or regret.  The most healing aspect many will ever know.

The box these many paint is silly. Even the time line of "assimilation" to the experience.  Assimilate? Who's idea was that? Why are we assimilating to fit in when we know what the beauty of our experience showed us is that we all should stand out.  C'mon guys - time to get real about boxes. They aren't boxes as much as ruts disguised - and those ruts do become a grave.

I love that group despite this representative's narrow-minded business approach. I didn't burn a bridge, by any means.  I just hope one day we can all be ok in just being ourselves.  No, actually I hope we all celebrate it. It is time that we understand what's happening in our world around us.  Even politically the younger generations are engaging - they have had enough with doing the same shit.

I hope many find this blog post and have a serious dialogue about the boxes they are being jammed into. Many groups seem very concerned with the timelines of post-NDE'rs.  LOL  Really?  I suspect we are missing the oneness that us early post-NDE'rs are so passionate about and they were once too. Seniority in assimilating isn't a benchmark in my opinion.

For the future authors in the genre:
The moment I left the box of "another NDE book", our world exploded.  Not crazy about boxes, especially those built by others.  It's just too damn dark in there.  I hope the bottom line of this blog post today is in finding your OWN magnificence, without regret and apology, to be your authentic self, and never, never, never let anyone censor you creative side. Be original.  Be authentic  Be collaborative and be free with it all.

Love and peace to you all
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