"Some days you have to kneel in reverence into the cool waters of your childhood and you are washed clean. " Rmt
I left a copy of the book in every park I went. All 12 states. I'm grateful for the opportunity and thanks for one more day
I apologize for being out of touch here as I have just made one of the most important journeys of my life...I hope to fill you all in soon in the next book "Dying for Forgiveness".
For now, here are a few thoughts from the road...please join us on facebook for pictures and videos...some things I have seen in this journey might just inspire you...That is the whole idea...
So more often than not I hope running a charity someone engages. We made it easy. Twenty-Seconds and a buck. But we've struggled honestly. Share a post. Invite some friends. Simple, easy stuff.
Then people shock you. They go way beyond easy. You wanna know the truth? Easy teaches you nothing but conditioning more easy. 🤷🏻♂️
The driving energy and root of all unconditional love is sacrifice. 💥💥💥💥💥💥
It can't be rationalized away in a over board self empowerment moment. It's the secret many have swapped aside.
Take what you want in this life. But eat what you take. The irony is posts that mention charity are mostly ignored and posts displaying huge levels of emotion are often too much for some. Yesterday 184 people left our journey on Facebook. I watch everyday. I track it. All for a reason. But like each new day it's washed clean and this morning 188 people joined because they let themselves feel the emotion. Life's funny and we've sparred most of you the real truths about advocating for a 35 yr old disease wrapped so tightly in stigma that it's fueled the spread.
I tried to protect you all with positives. But I've stolen from you the truest aspect of evolving. The contrast of emotion. It isn't avoiding certain energies in life. Your swimming in it. It's learning how to understand, and release that which doesn't serve you. Allowing it to teach.
Like a professional baseball player it takes practice and a discipline to practice. Ground ball after ground ball after ground ball. It isn't avoiding negatives, it's letting them teach you, inspire you and fuel you. Let it guide us in finding release but never avoidance. Feeling drives the whole damn thing. Challenging us the whole way. But challenges evolve us. Don't let people tell you that your challenges are failures. They are your teachers. There will come a time in everyone's life that your commitment to "not giving up " is called upon. This is when the "easy" choices burn hot. This is the moment in time you find how well you did everyday with those ground balls. That my dear friends requires one thing the world seems to be challenging. Our responsibility.
It isn't avoiding negatives. It's our perfection of them. It's not avoiding our fears. It's facing them down. The best skill I've ever learned bar none in life is how to find gratitude. How to turn a perceived negative into a positive. To spin it In everything. But that doesn't mean avoiding the emotions I need to release. It means taking ownership to me. The moment we stop hiding our emotions. Is the moment the entire world changes.
So today if you get this far in the post. If you put in the time I'll tell you one truth about why I never quit on this journey. Because today. This July 4th we celebrate tentatively our country in all fairness. But today. 400 children will be diagnosed with HIV. Thats why I never quit. 400 children. 💥 We can do better. But one segment of society isn't gonna pull it up the hill. It's been 35 years. 36 million dead. If labels are habit. Put one on that. If your struggling to find one. Let me help you. It's genocide. 😳We can. We must do better.
We need your voice. 🌪✨
The only disease we dare to ask ...."How did you catch that !!!" When that's not important. The end gets closer. Stigma? Many got it if you must know because they loved to much. They lived to greatly. Stigma? I don't think so folks.
For those who care enough to remind me of pace. Thank you. But the thing is. Time is fleeting. It's real for me. It can change in a blink of an eye. The question as always is... what will you do with your time???. Please. Please please. Don't rationalize away this disease because of me. I'm just trying with what I have left to make a difference.
Hope your day is filled with emotion. I hope it's filled with peace. Thank you so much to the REAL that join us everyday. Thank you for showing up.
Thanks for another day of that.
Hope to see Vermont show up
Please visit our event page. Takes twenty seconds to raise up another. Maybe less.
"With a little help from my friends " 😘
Too much to explain. To powerful of a day.
4,585 miles. 13 states. 11 public events. I made it. One to go. Talks in the park Series-Vermont
Gonna be off the grid for 24 hrs. Love you all. Thank you so much for the love, support and encouragement. To the many angels along the way. IM FOREVER GRATEFUL 💝
The new book writes itself. Wow. That's a heck of a day. May you be lifted by the angels all around you today and this holiday.
Peter Bates Peggy Boucher I have no words 🙏🏻 That's freakin rare. Thank you for one more day of THAT.
PLEASE, don't forget to invite your friends.
See you in the park for the last one.
Yesterday I spent the afternoon watching a 10 yr old girl named Muskan Virk captivate an audience talking about the importance of gratitude , including me. 10 yrs old going on 45 yrs old. As I watched the audience reaction I realized what was happening. The entire room had changed. Wasn't watching as much as feeling. She is such a delight. But I filled up with tears wondering if most in the room realized that she literally changed there cellular make up. I watched young children in the audience engage and ask questions inspired by her grace. How freakin rare is that. This is a moment in time we need to pay attention to. I've tried to help her with my platform and advice. But today she helped me. I realized this girl will not and can not be stopped. If we as a society can't support a 10 yr old with this intent and heart. We may just be in more trouble than I like to think. "A child shall lead them." I'm sure I've read that somewhere. We better realize the rareness and hope imbedded with child souls like this and do EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING TO SUPPORT IT. Her mission? To give back and support homeless. So I wonder this holiday. What are you doing this weekend ?
The impact of it all staggers me. Keep your eye on this young lady and her Mother Meera Virk. Of all the things I try to share with you. This one might be the most important I've been honored to be involved with personally or professionally.
I also had my first occasion to hug my friend John Masiulionis. Who's continued love for the world inspires me to keep going. Got my first hug from him and we cried and cried at the journey we've been on together. He claims I save his life. Meeting after his cancer diagnosis. But as he took me on a little drive yesterday to the hallowed grave of his Grandmother Jane. I watched this man quietly as he spoke his heart to the spirit of his departed love ones. It hit me hard. The privilege of my presence. Oh John. We saved each other my brother. And I will never forget any of it.
Her friend Gerry Cassidy, a gifted healer and medium whom I'd never conversed with waited here too for me. He gave me a free healing, not surprisingly after 4400 miles in a car, it was just what I needed. There's a picture in here of a candle burning during the session. Feel free to tell me what you see. But I'll tell you what I felt. Pure golden unconditional love. The very essence of healing. I don't care what schools you go to. What certificates in healing you obtain. The truth is. I'm not sure a skill is actually needed. But I guarantee you this. It is the intent and love that moves the needle. Although I applaud those who put in the time to learn. I'm still trying to find the right words to write about the session. It was....well...intense. It will take some time to put it all on paper. Coming soon.
After the busy day of emotion and continued connections from the trip still showing up here and there. I went to what I thought was my last event. 18 lbs lighter in weight but a ton heavier in love I found my way to Glen Park for my talk. Realizing my sister Jean who recently passed had lived in glen falls ny. I felt her. 💝Turned right onto Hyde Park RD realizing a warmth that my Father had been born in Hyde Park Ny. My family was with me. Regardless of the family that has chosen not to support our work and intent to help others. I make no assumptions about their actions to not even follow our journey let alone support us in trying to raise awareness. But honestly I realized yesterday in the evening sun as I watched people arriving for the talk. This has been the fuel that lit my candle. Showing me how much work I still need to do. But I watched perfect strangers arriving one by one. Some didn't even know why. But they came.
I sat for this talk. Which is rare. I'm a mover. But maybe it's my exhaustion maybe it was shaking legs. Maybe it was just reverence. It Took a cpl emergency rooms to get me here. A few bags of IVs and as always gifted and loving nurses along the way. The things you didn't know. But it was more than that. Each and every person that took the time. That put the skin into it. That showed up. Helped lift me up. And I watched them as they all connected with each other. Incidentally I'm guessing they might have thought. But it wasn't accidental. It's been my goal. I love the strength of lifting up another human being. More often than not it's just showing up. But watching them connect and find each other. Well that's magic. 💥. That's forever. These are relationships born at a talking event full of emotion. With that comes huge energy. We don't forget the things in our life with great emotion.
After my talk I spent some time with some loving folks. Some new. Some old. Some young but all individually free and beautiful. I rolled down a hill with Muskan like a child and I gave my ear to anyone who needed it.
I was pretty sick when I got in the car to make this trip. There's a bunch I didn't mention in fear of worrying folks. I do take responsibility to put out positives. But honestly Carol and I quietly wondered if I'd make it. I went 38 days without medicine for my Hiv after loosing my Medicare policy a cpl months before the trip. It was my fault. I changed banks acts after being hacked. Forgetting my auto pay of six years for my medicine supplement. The medicine that keeps me alive. Was gone. The new health care stuff is scary. But like many things easy to ignore in our busy lives. But I will tell you the humility involved when you lose something like this and have to beg for your life. I took 38 days of communicating, wiggling and begging to find an exception to my loss of coverage. 38 days I filled up with virus getting weaker and weaker. But I just wouldn't give up. According to new rules I would have to wait till November to get a new policy. Those that know my story understand. Quite simply, I'd be dead by then. But there I was. No fault but my own. Begging for an exception. For "My mistake!!!"
There's still something important I need to do. Humbling thing to watch a fellow man beg. Any human being. For nothing more than a chance to live. It wasn't just me and my situation. I've got a no quit attitude and I'm a blessed communicator. But ask yourself this. How many are that lucky? How many wouldn't have scratched and clawed for 38 days? . How many elderly or unsupported are out there. How many would have hidden and just not bothered.
Well folks. No one likes the fear and blatant disregard for human life we've watched happen in our political system. I hate even talking politics. But let's be clear here. This shit is real. These are real people. This is real fear and the damage is already done. People will die. Mostly of shame.
So tonight. When your knees hit the floor. I hope you say a prayer that quite honestly. This never happens to someone you love. Maybe it's what it will take for some of us to engage. But whether these bills pass or not isn't the issue. I stood on a wall for my country. Prepared to violence on your behalf. This month I nearly died because of the distain of our political system. Whether the bill passes isn't the point. Neither is your politics. I don't give two shits about sides. You better not either. Who actually gives a shit about being right why we watch this. I care about people. Rationalize all you want with your taking sides. But we have witnessed a new discourse of human history that our Government even proposed this type of hate. They submitted a bill that literally is just short of euthanasia. Whether it passes or not. Take a deep breath and stop being distracted on whose right or whose wrong. We just watched our LEADERS offer some of us up to die. Period. So if your sitting there being truly being honest with yourself. I ask you this. Have you done enough? Have you done anything? I've never engaged in politics until I watched this last few months of horseshit. Nearly blows my mind the fear and hate imbedded in these bills. But what worries me most is the indifference of some. It's why I got in my car. Frail and weak. To put some feeling skin into it. To show up. To care. To challenge myself and tell the truth that no matter what happens. It's the love that drives us and fuels us.
This 4 th of July feels different for many. It's ok. Don't rationalize it away. Let it move you. We've changed as a country. But the truth is many of us have let it. Me included and I'm not gonna take it any more.
No longer will I be silent. I will not watch people die when it's to easy to just show up.
This morning without being asked I got a text from Peter Bates and Peggy Boucher. Two endearing friends I love. They got into their car together and drove to western New York in the middle of the night without being asked for one purpose. To bring me home!!!! They were reading my posts. They allowed themselves to feel. And they literally showed up. To come get a friend weakened by a disease and his efforts to make a difference with it. They just showed up. 💝❤️💘
I don't know if many of my friends really get it. Some think this was about fame for me. Maybe money. Ego for sure. But those who get it. Get it. It's a reflection folks. What you see in me is from you. So before you decide. Smell yourself and be real. I'd rather be real than fake.
I've risked it all to just make a difference. To connect you. To make you feel. Some might even say I've been reckless. Oh how we love to label. But understand this about my journey. Whether you realize that my disease will eventually take me or not. How we like to avoid that. It's important that you remember. It will never he about how I died. But it will be about how I lived.
Reach out today. Help yourself heal. Do something for someone but do it without wanting, expecting or needing something in return. Or just show up. Sometimes it's all you need.
I look forward to sharing more of this journey. There's so much more coming in the new book.
But as I sit here in western ny awaiting my friends who've driven all night to drive me home. I pray.
I pray that the lord this day lifts you up in his divine countenance. And gives you peace. Thank you for your continued support , sharing and caring so we might just reach more. Do more. With what time we have. Thank you for your hearts.
I love you all so. And dear God. Thank you for the mercy you extend freely to me and I'm absolutely enthralled to say this morning. Like every morning. Thank you for one more day.